Alright, 7 Deadly Sin number six is on the board and that is Wrath. Before we get to Wrath, if you’re interested in learning about the previous six 7 Deadly Sins and how to break free from them, then Click Here.
With the shameless plug out of the way, let’s begin the discussion about Wrath. How we define it, how its affected my life, and the steps I think you need to take to break free from it.
Defining Wrath
Defining Wrath seems very simple at first glance, I mean it’s just getting angry right? Well sort of, by definition Wrath is anger in one of its most extreme form.
Definition: extreme anger. (e.g. “he hid his pipe for fear of incurring his father’s wrath”)
Anger in all forms needs to either be expressed or compressed, both can be done healthily and unhealthily. Anger is something that can be temporarily avoided at best, but it will always eventually come.
Wrath on the other hand is a bit different, given that it is “extreme anger”. Once again, it can either be expressed or compressed, both can be done healthily and unhealthily, but this time, the consequences for doing it unhealthily will be far greater.
While I think avoiding anger is in most cases futile, I do think the same isn’t to be said for Wrath. You can work really hard to rewire your brain, so that when your girlfriend keeps crunching on chips right in your ear, it won’t bother you as much (anger). But if you see someone on the street kick their dog, can and would you really want to not be bothered by that (Wrath)?
Strong emotions like Wrath are much harder to avoid. In this post I want to talk about controlling Wrath and not lower grade anger. Because acting on Wrath, as I’ve said, is far more consequential.
Emotions are tricky, at the end of the day, in my opinion, you can either control them or let them control you. In some cases they are justified and right (depending on your moral compass), and other times they aren’t. This is why I believe it’s crucial to be in control of your emotions. To make smarter decisions.
Left Brain and Right Brain
There’s a concept that you’ve probably heard about before called Left Brain and Right Brain. It’s a belief that one side of the brain is feeling, meaning it’s basically the inner-voice that tells you to eat the yummy twinkie and then there’s the other side of the brain that is thinking, so it would be lame and list the facts as to why eating the yummy twinkie isn’t beneficial.
Now how true this really is… I don’t really know, I do know that there is definitely feelings we have and thinking we do, where that comes from isn’t as important. Some people really love listening to their feeling brain and others work to completely shut it down in favour of the thinking brain.
In a lot of cases, taking things to the extreme can be very harmful. Drink too much water in one go and you can die. So I don’t think the trick is choosing one side over the other. At the end of the day, they will be working together no matter what you try to do.
The relationship between the two is explained well in the book “Everything Is F*cked” by Mark Manson, I promise you this is actually relevant and not another shameless plug. I’ll leave an affiliate link HERE.
Anyways, the book talks about how the feeling brain seems to be the one at the wheel and the thinking brain is giving suggestions on where to go. I explained this with the twinkie example, but there is another interesting dynamic that happens as well.
At times the feeling brain doesn’t jive with what the thinking brain is throwing down. So the thinking brain gets creative (this is ironic, I know). It starts to negotiate with itself to justify eating the twinkie. The twinkie might have 2g of protein, and that’s gains. So we’ll just ignore the 16g of sugar and 270 calories.
Whether you like this concept, hate it, believe it, don’t, it doesn’t really matter. This is how we function. The reason this is all important is because we have to understand the constant war (this sounds cool so I’m rolling with it) that goes on in our mind.
We need to choose when to roll with the feeling and when to not. We have to be careful of justifying our feelings even if they are wrong and be able to come up to healthy negotiations with our thinking brain.
Personal Experience
Usually I like to throw in a “Personal Experience” section in my posts, as it usually provides good lessons to be learned. In this case, I don’t really have a specific story to draw on, all I know is that I’ve been angry or worse, wrathful, more than a handful of times and regretted it.
I know for a fact you have too and this is why it’s so important that we find a way to break free from it.
How to Break Free From Wrath
- Setup for Success: The first step is one that is the most important and that is taking preventive measures. If you can avoid a negative situation, like dealing with Wrath, then you should do your best to do so. In some cases this might be letting go of toxic relationships, others might involve pursuing a different career. No matter the case, you always have a choice, some may have a harder time making the choice, but the choice is always there. But, the choice will still have its consequences, which is sometimes worth it, if it means making a change.
- Acknowledge: The second step to breaking free of Wrath is to acknowledge developing anger, in some cases you may jump straight to Wrath, in this case acknowledge your Wrath.
- Stop: The third step you need to do is stop, take a deep breath and realize the harm you could cause if you don’t calm down.
- Analyze: The fourth step is to analyze your situation, what is going on and how did you get to where you are. Is your Wrath justified or could you be overreacting? Can you leave the situation to be better dealt with later? If not, are you ready to accept the consequences of unleashing your Wrath? (In some cases it may be justified, like if you were to see someone attacking a family member or so on).
- Act: Finally you are left with a decision, one that hopefully the previous steps have set you up to make. Do you act on this Wrath, expressing it, or do you compress it, and leave it to be dealt with later. No matter what you do, you are left do deal with the consequences.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, like I’ve said in all my concluding statements, the choice is left up to you. Sometimes I wonder if I over simplify these topics, or if society is the one that likes to overcomplicate them.
Life is a series of choices, and you for whatever reason, are the one that gets to make them. Having this knowledge isn’t the golden ticket to never being Wrathful again, rather it’s an attempt to give you tools to prevent being so in the future.
Everything is up to you, rather you like it or not. With that being said, take care of yourself and try not to take your Wrath out on the person in your life who chews loudly. 🙂
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